You know you are preggo when....

I just thought I would share some of my stories and reactions of my students........

1. You know you are preggo when you make a special trip to Walmart to get 3 things...... calcium, nose spray and hair dye but you some how manage to grab the sale $2 bag of chips on the way by.........

2. When people ask you what the baby is you want to roll your eyes and tell them... "human"

3. After having to call a student's parent about a bad grade they suddenly want to know when I go on leave to have the baby.

4. One of my third graders informed me that not only is she convinced the baby is a boy but also says "Watch out, they squirt!" - Needless to say she has a little bro at home.

5. My first graders want me to show them every week how many inches the baby in my tummy is.

6. When my new students this year think I am so strict it must be because of the baby till my students from last year let them know quickly that I am this way every year.

7. Volleyball player gets hurt in a game and is laying on the floor bawling (she is tough as nails so I was really worried). The official blows me onto the court to check on her, I run across the court get to her and say "Take a deep breath and tell me exactly where it hurts." She replies " You ran with the baby!" Me "What?" She "(SOBS) You ran with the baby! (SOBS)" Me "The baby is fine it has lots of cushin' in there." She " I'm ok, (SOBS) I can play." Needless to say I took her out and she has torn tissue in her shoulder and the doc benched her for a week and a half.......

8. My students like to point to people holding babies and say "That will be you pretty soon..." I remind them I am way prettier than the person they are referring to and that my child could not possibly be as tan as the one the other person is holding.

9. When you eat as though every meal is your last opportunity to eat for the week.

10. When every time you leave your house you check to see that there is at least 1 full pack of crackers in your purse.

11. When you look at every person that passes you that is holding a baby and think "Dear God, please don't let mine be ugly."

12. When you walk down the baby isle in Walmart and think "Do people really spend money on this?" "Do they really use this?" " What the heck is that and how does it work?"

13. When you look at baby furniture and think..." My bed didn't cost that much, what makes you thin I would spend that much on my kid?" I know we all want better things for our kids than we had but seriously I saw a baby bed. BED ONLY, it doesn't convert or anything it can only be a baby bed.... for $1,299....... I laughed my way out of the store. I would now like to point out I bought my bedroom furniture, armoir, dresser and night stand... all solid wood for $110.

14. When you germ-x everything in your room at the end of the day and give clorox wipes to the kids that don't feel good to wipe off their chair and table when they leave the room...

15. When you put on a pair of pants and think "Didn't these fit last week?"

16. When you know where every restroom in Calera, Columbiana (sp), Alabaster, Helena and every stop and back road from here to Oxford is located.

17. When you can get in the restroom and out all while holding your breath to keep from throwing up.

18. When you talk to your volleyball team after a game but make them stand at least 3 feet from you to keep from gagging.

19. When other teachers come running down the hallway to tell you not to go into the lunchroom because some kid in K3 just puked and it has not been cleaned up yet.

20. When you have banned all highschool students in your lunch time from bringing anything that smells like seafood...... or has any strong odor.....