Dear Grandmother,

How I have managed to get through the holidays all together, I don't know. I miss you so much. I just had a dream about you and I can't go back to sleep. I know you would fuss at me for not sleeping. We found out about 2 months after you left us that we were having another boy. He is 3 months old now and his name is Asher Jackson. We, of course, named him Jackson after your maiden name. He has great big smiles and looks more like me and mom, than a little Eric this time. He has dark hair and great big blue eyes like mine, I think his will stay blue. Corban is almost 2 and is such a big boy! He loves Asher and is always wanting to hold him or play with him and always willing to give him hugs and kisses.
Christmas was so difficult this year, we lit a candle in your memory. That dancing Santa that you loved is here with Eric and I, Corban loves that he can clap and it dances and sings. His face just lights up when it comes on. We found out right before Christmas that Aaron and Brittny are having a girl, that will arrive in May! They have decided to name her Daphne Alice, so she has your middle name. We all remember how you didn't like Alice so we are going to call her Allie. For new year's we had our traditional meal, you know that green stuff that only you, mom and Eric ate, although Corban and Connor did give it a try but it quickly came out. We also had the peas that you and Mary had put up last year and mom made cornbread. It was so empty without you there at the table and for us to not be in Clanton at your table. Corban is like his mama he was all about those peas and cornbread. We decided that while you left your lighthouse collection to me that it would not be fair for me to have them all so we all have some, including Aunt Jan and Mary. I have a few put back for the boys to have and I kept my favorites. In a few months it will be a year since you left us and while I know you are pain and cancer free I am so jealous that people in heaven get to see you while I miss you so much! I know you are there with your borther that was taken from you at such a young age and with your mom and granddaddy too, it must be great seeing him alzheimers free. I know I will see you when I get there and when I do, I am gunna kick your butt for not telling us how tight money was for you here. I pulled out the bible you got Corban after he was born and read your inscription again. I have it in a safe place so when he gets old enough he can have it. I miss you beyond words, and while wishing you back here is too selfish, I sometimes can't help myself. Whenever I need a nurses opinion I call Aunt Jan now, and we both cry because we miss you. It kind of isn't fair because she makes me do stuff I sometimes don't want to and plays that "if your grandmother were here card." I know we are the ones in the family that don't cry but I just can't help myself tonight. I miss you so much! And yes, I am going to try to go back to bed, I kow the boys will be up bright and early and you would lecture me about that. I love you.